What happens to children of abuse?
Many times the parents were abused as children and repeat the cycle as adults. This is not always so. Sometimes the exact opposite happens and the parent is determined to protect their child from what they experienced as children. I can think of a personal example of this. My father grew up in severe poverty. He was the child of very young teen parents. His mother had him when she was just 14 years old and four siblings followed close behind. His father either could not or did not provide for his family properly and there was domestic violence between his parents in the home. His parents also brought other sexual partners into the home, one of which sexually abused my uncle. His mother neglected her children. His father was physically abusive, beating his children and thinking up ways to torture them like forcing them to kneel on rocks and pebbles for hours at a time. He eventually left my father’s mother with the three smallest children. When my father was 14, his mother left one day and told him and his brother that she would be back soon. A few weeks later, a couple showed up at the trailer that he and his brother were living in and told them that their mother had sold it to them and that they must leave. They lived for a week under a small patio that the trailer had been parked against until they stayed with a friend, my father got a job and rented a shabby apartment for them. My father supported his brother and had to quit school. He later joined the Army and learned how to weld, which provided good money. He got married, had a family, furthered his education and became involved in local politics. I can’t remember one instance when my father raised his hand to me. He never forgave his mother. My uncle, on the other hand, was abusive to his family and probably still is. He hits his wife and his children. I can remember many instances when I was young that my cousin came to stay with us because bruises and welts were discovered on him at school. How did these two men who shared the same childhood, come away from it so differently? What is the psychology of abuse?
